Even though I personally made the commitment to blog everyday for 30 days, there are days I don’t know what to write. I don’t know if what I write will be any good or if anyone is reading my work and frankly, that’s not the point of this. The point is to keep my word to myself and write.
For 30 days.
Whether or not it’s good is irrelevant. What’s vital is for me to stare at the blank digital page and put something down. With judgment, procrastination or “resistance” (as so succinctly articulated in Steven Pressfield classic book, “ The War of Art.”) sitting beside me–because they are always there. Sometimes there are moments when I have a few moments of judgement-free writing. The inner critic is quite enough and I can get some words down. And when I do, I feel something in me expand.
The other day my teenage son asked me, “How do you become confident?” I thought that was an interesting question. I think of confidence as a muscle. One that’s built through seeing things through. By showing up. By committing. Paradoxically, I also think confidence is built by knowing when it’s time to let something go and trusting that you are making the right decision. Sometimes you can’t always see a thing through–a bad job, relationship or substandard housing. Those are situations that actually erode your confidence and tear down your sense of self-regard.
When I make a commitment and show up–even when I don’t want to or when I feel aimless, something magical happens. I develop a deeper trust in myself. A capacity to do hard things. To go deep and hopefully tell a good story along the way.